Emotional Quicksand
The Long Road to Now: Greetings, fellow travelers! It's quite the journey we've been on, navigating through the adventures of life. Often, we travel not in miles but through time, wrestling with thoughts of the future and echoes of the past. It's quite the trip, isn't it? Arriving at the present moment can feel like an arduous journey, but here we are, together in the now.
The Daily Time Travel: It's fascinating how, even in routine activities—whether going to work, staying home, or spending time with family—we can feel like we've journeyed far, reminiscent of long holiday travels. Have you ever felt out of touch, as if someone needed to snap you back to reality with a, "Earth to [Your Name]! Can you come back?" I know I have. There are times when I'm physically present but my mind is miles away, lost in a haze of distraction.
Staying Grounded in the Moment: Acknowledging that we're often mentally elsewhere is the first step in mindfulness. Let's try something: for the next few minutes, pretend we've canceled all trips to the past and future. Let's focus on being here, in the present, and turn off all distractions. We often talk about recovery from 'time traveling' with three key concepts: honesty, open-mindedness, and a willingness to try.
Acceptance and Mindfulness: When we think about acceptance, I'm reminded of Fritz Perls, the founder of Gestalt theory. He emphasized the importance of permitting yourself the openness to feel who you are, rather than dwelling on who you are not. It's easy to focus on our deficiencies, to think about what we lack compared to others. How often do we find ourselves saying, "I am not this, I am not that," instead of appreciating what we truly are?
The Quicksand of Negative Thoughts: Just like someone struggling in quicksand, the more we fight our negative thoughts, the deeper we sink. In martial arts, when someone grabs you from behind, the instinct is to struggle, but the technique taught is to go limp, reducing the pressure and allowing yourself to slip away. The same goes for quicksand: cease struggling, lay flat, and you can float, using the fluidity of the quicksand to your advantage. This metaphor extends beautifully to dealing with our thoughts through mindfulness—doing the opposite of our instinct, which often leads us astray.
Practical Steps to Mindfulness: Let’s talk about a practical approach to dealing with uncomfortable feelings, inspired by an article titled "How to Survive Quicksand" by Katie Paul. She introduces a simple acronym, NAME: Notice what is happening around you, Acknowledge it by giving it a name, Make room for it instead of forcing it out, and Expand your awareness to observe other present feelings and emotions. This approach helps us manage overwhelming feelings by creating space for them and recognizing other aspects of our lives that are also present.
Why Do We Persist in Unhelpful Patterns?: Why do we continue to engage in behaviors that don't serve us? It’s often said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results. We stick to familiar paths, even when they lead us astray, often because we lack openness, honesty, or the willingness to try new approaches.
Looking Forward: As we move forward, we'll delve deeper into why we stick with what doesn’t work and how we can embrace mindfulness to live a life out loud, a life filled with meaning in every single moment. Until then, let's keep striving to live in the present, where life truly unfolds.
